My story

Ever since I was a small child, I've felt different from other people. I never understood why I couldn't seem to connect with other kids the way they connected with each other. I had difficulty with social interactions and sensory stimuli. I got overwhelmed by certain sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures. I was always the odd one out, the one who didn't quite fit in.

As I would find out much later in life, I had autism. 

About a year ago, I came upon The Loudest Girl in the World podcast. It narrates the story of Lauren Ober’s journey to understand what it means to be on the autism spectrum and how to live life as a newly diagnosed autistic person. It’s authentic, emotional, raw, and practical all at once. I was immediately captivated after listening to the first episode. I found myself relating deeply to some of Lauren's experiences. This feeling of familiarity was simultaneously unsettling and enlightening.

What is autism?

As a sensitive child, I intuitively found ways to navigate a world that felt too big and too loud. At age 7, I found solace in the world of computer programming. Its logical, rule-bound nature was a refuge from my struggles with social interactions and sensory overload. So I spent a lot of time there, and got rewarded for it! 

Over time, I explained away my challenges with the cultural turmoil in Romania during its shift from communism to democracy. I also understood my experiences as introversion and social anxiety (Quiet and How to Be Yourself are two books that offered great insights), so I maximized the time spent in my sweet spot—on the computer, programming or problem solving, alone or interacting with a small group of close people. 

Yet, something still felt incomplete. It wasn't until I learned about autism that I found the missing piece.

Autism, also referred to as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), is a neurological and developmental condition that typically appears during early childhood. Importantly, autism should not be viewed as a disease to be cured. Rather, it's an integral part of an individual's identity and represents a unique way of perceiving and interacting with the world.

Autism is a spectrum condition, meaning it manifests in a wide variety of ways and impacts every person differently. There is no one "right" or “wrong” way to be autistic. It can feel anywhere from very mild to severe – to the point where it can influence a person's ability to communicate, socialize, and interact with the world around them. It's often characterized by specific interests or activities, repetitive behaviors, difficulty with social interaction, and various sensory sensitivities. 

Ultimately, each person with autism has a unique set of strengths and challenges, which reflects the broad diversity of the human experience.

What about Asperger’s? 

Autism and Asperger’s syndrome have been used interchangeably in the past. In fact, in 2013, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 5th Edition (DSM-5) no longer included Asperger's syndrome as a separate diagnosis. Instead, it was folded into the umbrella term Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)  to improve the accuracy of the diagnosis and to reflect the latest research on ASD.

Many people still use the term Asperger's syndrome to describe their experiences. And, had I known about these diagnoses as a young adult, I probably would have used Asperger’s as well to describe my own experiences.

Traditionally, the main differences lie in language development and cognitive ability. Those diagnosed with Asperger's, often known as high-functioning autism, typically do not experience the same level of language or cognitive delays as those with classic autism. They usually have normal to high intelligence and robust vocabularies, but they often struggle with social interactions and may have difficulty reading social cues. They might also display intense focus on specific subjects – such as computer programming, in my case.

On the other hand, individuals with classic autism may display more pronounced communication challenges, cognitive delays, and a wider range of behavioral symptoms. 

How can you tell?

After listening to Lauren’s podcast, I discovered https://embrace-autism.com, an amazing set of resources for understanding and diagnosing autism. So I started taking some of their online tests:

• AQ-10: 7 / 10 

  • 6+ you might be autistic

  • 80% of people designated Asperger’s syndrome score 6 or high

• Autism Spectrum Quotient: 35 / 50

  • Scores 26 or greater indicate you might be autistic

  • 79.3% of autistic people score 32 or higher

• CAT-Q: 130 / 175 

  • A total score of 100 or above indicates you camouflage autistic traits

• RAADS–R: 146 / 240

  • A score of 65+ indicates you are likely autistic, as no neurotypical scored above 64 in the research

• RBQ-2A: 41 / 60

  • A score of 26+ indicates you are likely autistic 

• The Empathy Quotient: 16 / 80

  • 81% of people previously designated Asperger syndrome score 30 or lower

• Toronto Empathy Questionnaire: 29 / 64

  • The TEQ scores exhibited a negative correlation with the Autism Quotient

  • Scores 45 or higher indicate you have higher than normal empathy

• The Aspie Quiz - Neurodiverse: 99 / 200, Neurotypical: 113 / 200

  • This test measures both autistic and neurotypical traits and I displayed both (the interval in-between is less than 35 points difference)

  • The Aspie Quiz is particularly prone to outliers, meaning that you can score below the threshold on this test, while registering as autistic on other tests. But no single test is conclusive anyway.

I refrained from seeking a formal diagnosis from a specialist, as the pattern from the tests seemed very clear to me. I have a non-extreme form of autism, consistently scoring above the threshold for almost all the tests. That being said, I do recognize the value in consulting with a specialist for a comprehensive understanding, and that self-diagnosis carries the risks of misdiagnosis, so I might do that in the future.

Surprisingly, it was a relief to finally have an answer to the question of why I was the way I was. But there was also a lot of new information to process.

Embracing the superpowers

Autism comes with significant challenges, but it also has unique strengths. I'm very good at focusing on tasks, I have a strong sense of detail and a strong work ethic. I’m also good at problem solving, rational decision-making, systemizing and pattern recognition. Other autistic people might have different strengths, but we all have our own super powers.

The tech industry is generally considered to be a good fit for many people with autism (see Peter Thiel’s comment), because it requires a detail-oriented approach, analytical thinking and problem-solving skills (which many people with autism possess!) and offers an accommodating environment (i.e. remote work, flexible hours). 

While there are likely many people in the tech industry who are on the autism spectrum, many of them may not disclose this information because they’re worried about discrimination or have privacy concerns. Luckily, some well known people have been public about it. Elon Musk (on his SNL appearance), Bram Cohen (creator of BitTorrent) and Satoshi Tajiri (creator of Pokémon) all shared their experiences as people on the autism spectrum.

How to Interact with Autistic People

The key to interacting with autistic people is to be patient and open-minded. Autistic people often perceive the world differently, so their reactions to stimuli, social cues, or situations may vary from what's typically expected. Give them space to communicate in their own way, whether it's verbally or through other means like writing or gesturing. 

When it comes to sensory sensitivities, be mindful of their comfort zones; for instance, some might find loud noises or certain textures distressing. A simple check-in to ask what accommodations might make them more comfortable can go a long way. 

Finally, don't make assumptions or stereotypes based on their diagnosis; each autistic person is unique, with their own set of strengths and challenges. 

Looking Forward

Discovering I have autism hasn't fundamentally changed my lifestyle or my relationships. It actually made me more comfortable with who I am, it helped me develop a greater understanding and appreciation of my unique perspectives, and it probably helped others to better interact with me!  

 I'm still learning about autism, but I'm grateful to finally have a label for why I am the way I am. I'm autistic, and I'm proud of it. I’m also hopeful that more people will seek understanding about themselves and embrace their uniqueness. One of the most important things I learned was that I wasn't alone. There are millions of people with ASD, and we come in all shapes and sizes. We have different strengths and weaknesses, just like everyone else. 

If you suspect you’re autistic, know that there are many resources available (like Embrace Autism) to help you live a happy and fulfilling life. I encourage you to seek a diagnosis or support if you haven’t already! Also, if you want to share any resources you’ve found helpful, reach out on Twitter.